My Dream Valentine

It's the month of the hearts again. While I believe that this event is all about business, I can't help it but get lost in the spell of romance as I see roses, balloons and hearts everywhere. Everything is wrapped in red. And the fact haunts me, I never had a Valentine date.

Well maybe, I had a Valentine date but not on the 14th where everyone is busy giggling and being hopelessly romantic is not a crime.

I want to have a Valentine date someday; watch movie, dine out and most importantly, receive roses. While being practical may sound as an excuse for not giving flowers, nothing beats their scent and beauty, died to be offered to a special someone.

I wonder when will be that be? I hope I'm not too old to have one. Oh well, I'll just prepare for a Valentine date on a work meeting again (every year).

Hands Off!

I like a person. He is jolly, simple and has a face that could make every girl smile. He seems intellectual too. The first time I saw him, I find him interesting but his face also spell out the word CAUTION. Yes I think he is a playboy and so I left the idea alone.

It wasn't until two years after that we got short but constant communication through a social networking site. I find myself renewing interest in him but he is attached.

I said to myself that it is okay to befriend him, only that. No more, no less. But I think I am starting to fall for him and I cannot deny it no matter how I tried to hide even to myself.

When that love is not for you

Repeated backspaces can be heard as I am composing this letter. Writing about love is actually tough. You become transparent of what your ideals are and maybe, what kind of person are you. But this actually makes me feel better. And because it is February, I will choose to write about it. This Heart's month will be like any other year in the past. No date, no love. 

I honestly expect that this year, I will be having a good Valentine date. But my recent break up ( actually it's already 3 months) made this impossible. And I am pretty sure, like the past years of my life, I will spending the special day in work meetings.

When you are faced with the fact that the relationship you are in is not for you, it hurts. You can come up with numberless questions and nobody will be able to answer you. Of course, crying will be frequent and maybe a drink or two with you being alone. While you may think that this is pathetic, it is not. Why? Because it's part of grieving. Unless you grieve for your loss, you will not be able to accept the situation you are in. There is no short cut.

During this times, you will seek all love that you can get and assure to yourself that it is not one of the fictions that you believed. And yes, many people do love you more than you know. What matters now, is to answer this question: DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?

I marked this question in bold because only a few of us will be able to answer this honestly. Many actually do not know the answer to this. Even I. I thought I love myself only when my friend asked me this question, that made me think about it seriously. If I really love myself during those times, such things would not have happened. I will not expand on this and keep it to myself. I'm sorry my dear readers.

But the point that I am trying to arrived is, no matter what you do, when that love is not for you, you should accept it and be honest to yourself. Get hurt, fear, cry. No one is stopping you to do that.

Only after that you will realized when that love is not for you, there will be better who will come and who deserve you and it's not the other way around.