Complicated thoughts

I really hate to be blogging about what I  think at time especially when I am in the middle of work that I cannot continue until I put it into writing.but I really miss writing, I miss talking to myself especially when I have complicated thoughts.

It is an exemption gift to have the time to be all alone with yourself without anything buzzing around.
I am practically alone in this room almost all day but my mind flew away thinking about new strategies, lost love, new-found love and everything else.

It's been bothering me all day that I think I am falling for my friend, which is a very big no-no.
he treat me as a little sister and I treat him as an older brother but my feelings for him started to change
from the root that I do not know.

I found this again complicated to learn by myself that I already like him. after so much teasing by our friends and too much denial in me, the truth finally broke itself.

I don't like this feeling knowing that in the end, i'll just take a shower so as not to feel tears flowing
to my cheeks.

Nothing

i thought it will all come to pass
i am happy with myself now
eating with myself, shopping with myself
spending time with myself.
but as the cold breeze of the wind
kissed my cheeks on a hot noon
i realized i'm still hurt.

i tried to cheer myself
eat, watch movie, drink frappucino
sought the companion of friends
that never arrived and i realized i am alone.
and on the dark night
when i saw his virtual presence
it all came back in a breeze
that he simply left me
without saying goodbye
and i am all but a trash...